Forget about divorce as an option, it might just save your marriage. No one is saying that your marriage isn't difficult. It might even be miserable. But an interesting set of statistics shows that people who take divorce off the table as an option not only resolve their issues, but end up being happier than ever. If your marriage is feeling troubled, and you're considering divorce, consider trying alternate therapies instead, marriage counseling, or just some open communication. But whatever you do, don't bring up the "D" word as an option, because doing that will change the rules of the game.
Now, of course it's important to acknowledge that there are a lot of influences on you to get a divorce. Your friends who don't like your spouse, legal advertisements, even popular culture. It's a common statistic that most marriages end in divorce, and so it seems like an acceptable, even normal way to resolve problems in a
marriage.
But let's look at some statistics. Of all the couples surveyed who were contemplating divorce and then decided not to go through with it, 80% claimed to be happily married only five years later. In all likelihood this is due to two elements. The first is that those couples who decide not to consider divorce, the only remaining
option is to deal with the problems experienced in the marriage head-on. This is a powerful and proactive tactic that will lead to acknowledgement of the problems the couples face, and maybe even to solutions.
The other element is that once divorce is considered, the dynamic of the relationship is changed. This is a more subtle, though far more destructive product of considering divorce. The dynamic of this is simple. When a fundamental disagreement develops in a marriage - as it will in almost all relationships - those who never
consider divorce are forced to deal with the disagreement. Those who do consider divorce preserve an "out" that can be used without ever addressing the issue. As the problems in the marriage mount, or the fundamental issues become more divisive, the easy out of divorce can become more and more appealing.
This thinking will take both of you, however. When both people in a marriage are actively searching for a solution to a problem, and both accept that divorce is not - and will not be - an option, a solution will almost surely be found. You and your spouse will be asking what you can do to make things better, rather than asking if it's worth it, or if you should cut your losses and run.
Remove divorce as an option and endeavor to go into relationship counseling, therapy of some kind, or just talk about your problems in a mature and open way. It seems simplistic, but statistically it also seems to work. Those who deny divorce as a viable end to a committed marriage will also be more motivated to work on that
marriage, and work through the problems that could, without communication and understanding, put an end to something that was supposed to be a lifetime commitment and bond.
Showing posts with label stop divorce saving marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stop divorce saving marriage. Show all posts
Recognizing marital conflicts and solving them fast
Annie and Glenn were considered the perfect couple of the year when they were married in a small but picturesque chapel in Santa Monica two years ago. Annie was a 24 year old career girl while Glenn was on his way to becoming a successful lawyer.
That was then when they were still carefree individuals who got involved in their relationship for a little fun and companionship. Marriage has made a very big difference in their lives. It seems to have ruined what they call magic.
Both have attained their career goals. Annie now writes her own column in a business magazine while Glenn has been recruited by a top notch law firm. Their careers are going great; their marriage however is another story.
Both are so busy with their own lives that they seem to have started growing apart. Most of their hours are spent at work, and on the rare occasions they see each other, they spend much of it in a shouting match.
Annie and Glenn's dilemma is not uncommon to many married couple; in fact it is the rule rather than the exception. Married couples sometimes ask themselves why they are capable of doing things that could hurt the other spouse, despite the fact that they love each other so much.
It is true when they say it is the person you love the most that can hurt you the most. This is true for most married couple who have not yet found a way to settle their differences and live with their then.
Arguments are part and parcel of being married but it is up to the couple to find ways to lessen the frequency and the intensity of the argument. Sometimes, couples think having the same argument over and over again is a normal thing in marriage. Of course, it is a normal thing but it should not be a so.
Common sources of conflict among married couples
It is hard to live with another person because each one has his own personality and each person was brought up by their families differently. Conflicts arise when two personalities and two ways of life merge - each one wanting to be dominant.
The main reason married couples have arguments is because they are two different people forced to live physically together, regardless of their quirks and personality. Unless you are a boring creature who does not want surprises, then you would find it fun to live with a person who is just like you and so predictable that you do not even speak to each other because one is aware of what other is thinking. Others believe differently, believing that when two people are so alike there is no need for the other,
But there are specific issues that are pointed to as the common source of conflict and argument among married couples.
1. Money - Who does not need money? Of course everyone does, and the lack of excess of financial means will always serve as a launching pad for conflict. A couple who does not have enough money will have conflicts with budgeting and managing their finances. On the other hand, a couple who have plenty of resources will still quarrel over how the money is being spent..
2. Jealousy - A jealous lover adds sizzle to romance but when jealousy goes overboard it can make your married life miserable. A little jealousy will help make the relationship exciting but too much of it will alienate one spouse from the jealous spouse. People who have jealous spouses tend to curtail their emotional and intellectual development.
3. Sex - The lack or excess of sexual activity is also a source of conflict for married couples. Couples who have the same sexual preferences are lucky. For most couples incompatibility of their sexual desires is often the underlying reason for conflicts that are manifested in other ways.
4. In-laws - There are couples who incessantly quarrel just because of domineering in-laws who are interfering with the marriage. A couple may be living away from the in-laws but there are ways in-laws manage to ruin the marriage. It is really up to the spouses to inform their own families about the limitation that are to be observed to keep the marriage healthy and far from in-laws interference.
5. Responsibility - Who is in charge of cleaning the house? Who is in charge of paying for the monthly bills or the groceries? These are little things that boil down to the delegation of responsibilities between the spouses. It will be good if spouses can talk about who should be responsible for all the things necessary to keep the marriage on an even keel..
There are other sources of conflict, most of them originating from the basic sources of conflict. Couples should be aware of the things that cause conflict between them so they can find a common solution to those conflicts. Being aware of conflicts and confronting them the as soon as possible will help the marriage and will avoid recurrence of such conflicts later on.
*****************************
Find out how to stop divorce, save your marriage from an expert who sustains an incredible amount of expertise when in handling broken marriages.
That was then when they were still carefree individuals who got involved in their relationship for a little fun and companionship. Marriage has made a very big difference in their lives. It seems to have ruined what they call magic.
Both have attained their career goals. Annie now writes her own column in a business magazine while Glenn has been recruited by a top notch law firm. Their careers are going great; their marriage however is another story.
Both are so busy with their own lives that they seem to have started growing apart. Most of their hours are spent at work, and on the rare occasions they see each other, they spend much of it in a shouting match.
Annie and Glenn's dilemma is not uncommon to many married couple; in fact it is the rule rather than the exception. Married couples sometimes ask themselves why they are capable of doing things that could hurt the other spouse, despite the fact that they love each other so much.
It is true when they say it is the person you love the most that can hurt you the most. This is true for most married couple who have not yet found a way to settle their differences and live with their then.
Arguments are part and parcel of being married but it is up to the couple to find ways to lessen the frequency and the intensity of the argument. Sometimes, couples think having the same argument over and over again is a normal thing in marriage. Of course, it is a normal thing but it should not be a so.Common sources of conflict among married couples
It is hard to live with another person because each one has his own personality and each person was brought up by their families differently. Conflicts arise when two personalities and two ways of life merge - each one wanting to be dominant.
The main reason married couples have arguments is because they are two different people forced to live physically together, regardless of their quirks and personality. Unless you are a boring creature who does not want surprises, then you would find it fun to live with a person who is just like you and so predictable that you do not even speak to each other because one is aware of what other is thinking. Others believe differently, believing that when two people are so alike there is no need for the other,
But there are specific issues that are pointed to as the common source of conflict and argument among married couples.
1. Money - Who does not need money? Of course everyone does, and the lack of excess of financial means will always serve as a launching pad for conflict. A couple who does not have enough money will have conflicts with budgeting and managing their finances. On the other hand, a couple who have plenty of resources will still quarrel over how the money is being spent..
2. Jealousy - A jealous lover adds sizzle to romance but when jealousy goes overboard it can make your married life miserable. A little jealousy will help make the relationship exciting but too much of it will alienate one spouse from the jealous spouse. People who have jealous spouses tend to curtail their emotional and intellectual development.
3. Sex - The lack or excess of sexual activity is also a source of conflict for married couples. Couples who have the same sexual preferences are lucky. For most couples incompatibility of their sexual desires is often the underlying reason for conflicts that are manifested in other ways.
4. In-laws - There are couples who incessantly quarrel just because of domineering in-laws who are interfering with the marriage. A couple may be living away from the in-laws but there are ways in-laws manage to ruin the marriage. It is really up to the spouses to inform their own families about the limitation that are to be observed to keep the marriage healthy and far from in-laws interference.
5. Responsibility - Who is in charge of cleaning the house? Who is in charge of paying for the monthly bills or the groceries? These are little things that boil down to the delegation of responsibilities between the spouses. It will be good if spouses can talk about who should be responsible for all the things necessary to keep the marriage on an even keel..
There are other sources of conflict, most of them originating from the basic sources of conflict. Couples should be aware of the things that cause conflict between them so they can find a common solution to those conflicts. Being aware of conflicts and confronting them the as soon as possible will help the marriage and will avoid recurrence of such conflicts later on.
*****************************
Find out how to stop divorce, save your marriage from an expert who sustains an incredible amount of expertise when in handling broken marriages.
Tips For Avoiding A Divorce
If you have a marriage in trouble but you want to avoid divorce, you should know that you have great options for saving the relationship. The exact resources and tools used to put the broken pieces back together will depend on the reason for the problem. As an example, if your wife or husband was unfaithful, counseling can often help sort things out. Therefore, prior to doing anything, you need to identity the reason for the problem in the first place.
Other than infidelity, couples struggle with financial issues, which is a huge factor that can lead to divorce. Typically, both couples work full-time, which helps pay for the house, car, raising kids, paying bills, and even vacation. Unfortunately, many couples overextend, meaning they live on borrowed money. Of all factors, credit cards are the most common problem.
When more money goes out than comes in, massive stress takes over, leading to fights. Before long, the husband and wife are disagreeing on who makes more, what should or should not be purchased, who was at fault, and so on. Then to make matters worse, phone calls and collection companies begin to call wanting to know where the mortgage, car, or credit payment are. For the married couple, it soon becomes too much to handle.
If you find that you and your spouse are on the verge of divorce specific to problems with finances, for the sake of the marriage, go visit a finance advisor or credit counseling company to help get things back on track. In this case, counselors would act as the go-between for you and your creditors. In fact, these counselors are professionals who help set up a repayment plan and then work on a budget for the future.
Just because a married couple is having financial problems does not mean divorce is imminent. In fact, using a mediator or counselor can be a huge assistance. The reason is that the blame-game ends so the problem can reach a solution. Start by putting any differences aside and stop blaming each other. Then, create a solid plan for getting out of debt while also saving money.
Most importantly, to avoid divorce, start communicating. Unless you talk, you can never work things out. Keep in mind that good communication does not mean yelling, it means talking as adults. Therefore, take time so the two of you can sit down face-to-face to discuss the current situation, regardless of the problem. If anger is too high, the services of a professional marriage counselor can help. Just remind yourself that it takes time but with dedication and determination, divorce can be avoided.
*****************************
Find out how to avoid divorce, save your marriage from an expert who sustains an incredible amount of expertise when in handling broken marriages.
Other than infidelity, couples struggle with financial issues, which is a huge factor that can lead to divorce. Typically, both couples work full-time, which helps pay for the house, car, raising kids, paying bills, and even vacation. Unfortunately, many couples overextend, meaning they live on borrowed money. Of all factors, credit cards are the most common problem.
When more money goes out than comes in, massive stress takes over, leading to fights. Before long, the husband and wife are disagreeing on who makes more, what should or should not be purchased, who was at fault, and so on. Then to make matters worse, phone calls and collection companies begin to call wanting to know where the mortgage, car, or credit payment are. For the married couple, it soon becomes too much to handle.
If you find that you and your spouse are on the verge of divorce specific to problems with finances, for the sake of the marriage, go visit a finance advisor or credit counseling company to help get things back on track. In this case, counselors would act as the go-between for you and your creditors. In fact, these counselors are professionals who help set up a repayment plan and then work on a budget for the future.
Just because a married couple is having financial problems does not mean divorce is imminent. In fact, using a mediator or counselor can be a huge assistance. The reason is that the blame-game ends so the problem can reach a solution. Start by putting any differences aside and stop blaming each other. Then, create a solid plan for getting out of debt while also saving money.
Most importantly, to avoid divorce, start communicating. Unless you talk, you can never work things out. Keep in mind that good communication does not mean yelling, it means talking as adults. Therefore, take time so the two of you can sit down face-to-face to discuss the current situation, regardless of the problem. If anger is too high, the services of a professional marriage counselor can help. Just remind yourself that it takes time but with dedication and determination, divorce can be avoided.
*****************************
Find out how to avoid divorce, save your marriage from an expert who sustains an incredible amount of expertise when in handling broken marriages.
The Price of a Divorce
It seems cruel that amid all the emotional struggles a divorce brings with it, money has to be such a tremendous burden and source of added anxiety. Divorces have many costs, some more tangible than others. This is an article about the tangible toll that a failed marriage has and tips on what to expect and how to cope a divorce.
From the reallocation of property and debt to child support to taxes to retirement planning, there are a slew of financial issues that are intertwined with most divorces. Chances are you and your spouse share a lot of assets, from furniture to stocks to pets! You might even have a sentimental attachment to some of them. Unless the two of you agree on how to divide all the property up, you might have to brush off on your bartering skills. Some parting couples even opt to sell all the property at once and divide the profits.
While that comfortable sofa and antique dresser might be in demand, the debt you two shared certainly won't be. A joint credit report deserves a good look as you and your lawyer(s) determine what's fair. As you distribute the debt, try to cap off whatever debt you currently have. Divorce is expensive and you want to deflate the financial burden as much as you can today. Again, more bartering may be in order here. Take on more debt in exchange for more assets, or vice versa. If you have an open mind and cooperate, you'll likely come to a fair divorce settlement. It's not unusual for a divorcing couple to split the debt right down the middle.
Surprisingly, you're going to have some new tax issues to think about too. If you have dependents, which person will get that tax exemption from now on? Many other tax exemptions and deductibles that you probably took for granted as a married couple will need to be reevaluated after a divorce.
Not to mention, child support and alimony! These issues are highly variable and personable but they are going to be big ones if you and your former spouse have children together.
Men sometimes have great financial difficulties affording child support, but statistics show it's newly single mothers that have the most money problems. This is especially evident when a woman must suddenly afford childcare or is swept into a new work environment; kids typically must adjust to a lower standard of living, just like their parents, after a divorce.
An entire family structure gets disrupted during a divorce and that has not only an effect on the personal relationships, but on the overall economic situation of all involved. And these financial issues are deep and complex and have enduring effects.
The best advice for you, the soon-to-be-divorced, is to remind yourself the financial turmoil is only temporary and it can be dealt with the most adequately if you can keep your cool and think practically. While it's tempting, dividing up property and debt is probably not a time for vengeance or proving a point. The divorce will go quicker and more amicably if you try to stay as calm and rational as possible!
*****************************
Find out how to stop divorce, save your marriage from an expert who sustains an incredible amount of expertise when in handling broken marriages.
From the reallocation of property and debt to child support to taxes to retirement planning, there are a slew of financial issues that are intertwined with most divorces. Chances are you and your spouse share a lot of assets, from furniture to stocks to pets! You might even have a sentimental attachment to some of them. Unless the two of you agree on how to divide all the property up, you might have to brush off on your bartering skills. Some parting couples even opt to sell all the property at once and divide the profits.
While that comfortable sofa and antique dresser might be in demand, the debt you two shared certainly won't be. A joint credit report deserves a good look as you and your lawyer(s) determine what's fair. As you distribute the debt, try to cap off whatever debt you currently have. Divorce is expensive and you want to deflate the financial burden as much as you can today. Again, more bartering may be in order here. Take on more debt in exchange for more assets, or vice versa. If you have an open mind and cooperate, you'll likely come to a fair divorce settlement. It's not unusual for a divorcing couple to split the debt right down the middle.
Surprisingly, you're going to have some new tax issues to think about too. If you have dependents, which person will get that tax exemption from now on? Many other tax exemptions and deductibles that you probably took for granted as a married couple will need to be reevaluated after a divorce.
Not to mention, child support and alimony! These issues are highly variable and personable but they are going to be big ones if you and your former spouse have children together.
Men sometimes have great financial difficulties affording child support, but statistics show it's newly single mothers that have the most money problems. This is especially evident when a woman must suddenly afford childcare or is swept into a new work environment; kids typically must adjust to a lower standard of living, just like their parents, after a divorce.
An entire family structure gets disrupted during a divorce and that has not only an effect on the personal relationships, but on the overall economic situation of all involved. And these financial issues are deep and complex and have enduring effects.
The best advice for you, the soon-to-be-divorced, is to remind yourself the financial turmoil is only temporary and it can be dealt with the most adequately if you can keep your cool and think practically. While it's tempting, dividing up property and debt is probably not a time for vengeance or proving a point. The divorce will go quicker and more amicably if you try to stay as calm and rational as possible!
*****************************
Find out how to stop divorce, save your marriage from an expert who sustains an incredible amount of expertise when in handling broken marriages.
Quiz Yourself - Will You Survive Break-Up?
I did everything possible to save our relationship. I gave in a lot, but I could not save. We will be breaking-up soon. That has already broken my heart. This relationship was made brick by brick over so many years. What all we did not do to make it last? But alas, we are breaking -up. This is a typical statement from a person facing break-up. How to survive after a break-up? Will you survive a break-up? Why not quiz yourself about it?
The immediate effect of the break-up would be pain. Will you be able to take the pain? The pain would go away slowly over a number of years, but the initial impact will be high. You will have to gather all your energy and tolerate the pain.
The second effect would be bitterness and blame. You will non stop think about the behavior of your ex partner and fix blame everywhere. You will recap all the arguments and fights and there will be a large amount of self-talk about how you were ditched. That will not be a pleasant experience. You will have to find way out of all this by spending quality time with friends, involving you in new activities, and keep yourself busy. Are you ready for that?
The major effect would be the temptation to join immediately with anew partner. This can work both the ways. Some people never wish to form a relationship again after undergoing the trauma, while some want to form a relationship as soon as possible to forget the earlier one. Both of theses choices carry danger. The best alternative is to wait for sometime and when you find your stability and self esteem back, try and form another relationship. Are you ready for this?
*****************************
Find out how to stop divorce, save your marriage from an expert who sustains an incredible amount of expertise when in handling broken marriages.
The immediate effect of the break-up would be pain. Will you be able to take the pain? The pain would go away slowly over a number of years, but the initial impact will be high. You will have to gather all your energy and tolerate the pain.
The second effect would be bitterness and blame. You will non stop think about the behavior of your ex partner and fix blame everywhere. You will recap all the arguments and fights and there will be a large amount of self-talk about how you were ditched. That will not be a pleasant experience. You will have to find way out of all this by spending quality time with friends, involving you in new activities, and keep yourself busy. Are you ready for that?
The major effect would be the temptation to join immediately with anew partner. This can work both the ways. Some people never wish to form a relationship again after undergoing the trauma, while some want to form a relationship as soon as possible to forget the earlier one. Both of theses choices carry danger. The best alternative is to wait for sometime and when you find your stability and self esteem back, try and form another relationship. Are you ready for this?
*****************************
Find out how to stop divorce, save your marriage from an expert who sustains an incredible amount of expertise when in handling broken marriages.
Stop Divorce
From my experience couple trying to Stop Divorce are faced with many challenges, some of these issues and challenges are often very surprising. One of the people who visited my site sent me an email saying that I would not believe how easy it was to work on some parts of the prevent divorce issue, and that the hardest thing he and his wife faced was breaking the old habits, changing the way they conducted themselves, the automatic pilot that drives relationships into walls.
This is what this article is about, trying to notice the point in which you lose control over your target (preventing and stopping your divorce) and let the auto pilot drive your relationship into a difficult spot. Shedding light on a few points, I hope that you will be better equipped the next time you are facing an argument or even a discussion.
First point, is almost too easy, the blame game. How easy is this? Now honestly, think about it, almost everyone does it, and you have done it many times before, you play this stupid little game, get yourself wrapped around this idea and lose control, not only escalating the situation but getting into a mindset of blaming and anger, this would not help you, or anyone for that matter, achieve anything. What you really need to do is examine the situation, think about what you did, or what you usually do, and what your spouse does, and be as objective as you can. Make a table with the things you both do, never forget to notice the things that you do wrong, because everyone does something wrong, and admit it, to yourself and to your spouse.
Second, the “you are overreacting” sentence. How helpful was that?, men tend to say this to woman a lot, but I saw a few woman do that too, and this is a nasty one, not only do you judge your spouse, you are also criticizing their response, like you have any right to. Think about it for a moment, I am sure you will understand that this is a terrible thing to say and that in no case should you even consider saying this, take things at face value, if your partner is angry, focus on why he or she got to this situation and deal with it, don’t push it away and award the what you think is an exaggerated reaction level to your partner.
Children or family issues, this is an extremely delicate issue. Using children as weapons in arguments and fights is something a lot of people do, a classic example of losing control and saying things you live to regret for a long time. A clear stop sign, if you can see it while you are angry and upset, in a middle of an argument, try your best to avoid using your children or other family members in fights.
One last point which is the general advice I can give, when discussing things with your spouse, or even when arguing or fighting, try and make the situation even, try and balance the power and the objectivity of the situation. This means that no one has clear control over the discussion, that it is a free – equal power debate between two people and not a lecture or verbal beating to one or another person.
In the next article I will discuss these issues further, good luck saving your relationship and stop divorce.
***********************
Find out how to stop divorce, save your marriage from an expert who sustains an incredible amount of expertise when in handling broken marriages.
This is what this article is about, trying to notice the point in which you lose control over your target (preventing and stopping your divorce) and let the auto pilot drive your relationship into a difficult spot. Shedding light on a few points, I hope that you will be better equipped the next time you are facing an argument or even a discussion.
First point, is almost too easy, the blame game. How easy is this? Now honestly, think about it, almost everyone does it, and you have done it many times before, you play this stupid little game, get yourself wrapped around this idea and lose control, not only escalating the situation but getting into a mindset of blaming and anger, this would not help you, or anyone for that matter, achieve anything. What you really need to do is examine the situation, think about what you did, or what you usually do, and what your spouse does, and be as objective as you can. Make a table with the things you both do, never forget to notice the things that you do wrong, because everyone does something wrong, and admit it, to yourself and to your spouse.
Second, the “you are overreacting” sentence. How helpful was that?, men tend to say this to woman a lot, but I saw a few woman do that too, and this is a nasty one, not only do you judge your spouse, you are also criticizing their response, like you have any right to. Think about it for a moment, I am sure you will understand that this is a terrible thing to say and that in no case should you even consider saying this, take things at face value, if your partner is angry, focus on why he or she got to this situation and deal with it, don’t push it away and award the what you think is an exaggerated reaction level to your partner.
Children or family issues, this is an extremely delicate issue. Using children as weapons in arguments and fights is something a lot of people do, a classic example of losing control and saying things you live to regret for a long time. A clear stop sign, if you can see it while you are angry and upset, in a middle of an argument, try your best to avoid using your children or other family members in fights.
One last point which is the general advice I can give, when discussing things with your spouse, or even when arguing or fighting, try and make the situation even, try and balance the power and the objectivity of the situation. This means that no one has clear control over the discussion, that it is a free – equal power debate between two people and not a lecture or verbal beating to one or another person.
In the next article I will discuss these issues further, good luck saving your relationship and stop divorce.
***********************
Find out how to stop divorce, save your marriage from an expert who sustains an incredible amount of expertise when in handling broken marriages.
Prevent Divorce Basics
Your marriage is in trouble, and you know that even though you want to get it all over with that you still love your partner and that you will probably regret your actions in the near future, the action needed is clear- you need to prevent divorce.
Divorce is not the answer, and rushing into one is a big mistake, the divorce process will eliminate your chances of rebuilding your relationship, so you better consider this move carefully and be absolutely sure that you have exhausted all the means and ways to improve your relationship.
Your spouse does not understand you, and both of you are not communicating any more, it seems as though there is a huge gap between you, that even the smallest things makes you upset about each other, and that what was once easy and fun has now become unbearable. Preventing divorce is not about compromise, preventing divorce is about rediscovering your relationship.
The changes in relationships seem almost impossible, from once passionate lovers that could not bare being apart couples change into two different people that sometimes seek the opportunity to be as separate from one another as possible. The dangers of the growing distance between couple raises questions in their minds and in many cases this ends in a divorce.
Every person is different, every couple has its own unique story, but the bottom line is usually this – one or both partners think that it is impossible to turn the relationship into something that will flourish again, with the hope of regaining the love of the other lost the partners turn into the simplest and what seems like the easiest solution, instead of fighting and arguing over and over again, the clean cut divorce looks like a good solution.
Sometimes and in some cases this is probably the best way to go, divorce for some couples is the best answer to a hopeless situation. But if you are one of the many people who feel that not all hope is gone and that you wish to continue building the relationship you have with your partner, who at a certain time was the closest to you, this is the place to start looking inwards and outwards and work to regain your harmoniums loving relationship once again.
Good relationships start with good communication, it is almost sure that you once had a relationship with good communication, you can probably remember the days when you didn’t have enough time with your spouse to talk about all the plans you had for your life and to share your thoughts? How long has it been now? How many years since you last had a really good communication exchange? After you’ve exhausted the discussion about the children’s schedule, who has to drop off the dry cleaning and when you will visit your in-laws, do you find yourself at a loss for words?
You are not alone. There is nothing wrong with either of you. You are probably just mired in everyday life and because your daily schedule is so hectic, over the years you simply ran out of time for casual and enjoyable discussion. And, now you can’t even remember how to even talk to your spouse, stopping or preventing a divorce will mean that you will need to rethink the way you communicate.
Good communication is not so hard and it is vital for preventing a divorce, it is just plain simple work, until you get used to it. Instead of talking about the regular things, you will need to think a little harder and try a lot harder. Talk about real things, not the work routine and the children’s activities think of things you want to talk about, you’ll find yourself anxious to get home to share the information with your spouse. Avoid the topics that do not interest you spouse, remember that this is about the both of you, and what you find interesting, just finding this topic will earn you points for trying, do not plan ahead too much – just let yourself into a discussion about things you have not discussed for long.
Listen to the news in the morning or on your way to work. When you are listening, try to focus on those things you think your spouse would find interesting. What would she tell you about? Then ask her if she heard the story, and what she thought about it.
Talk about things you want to plan or do over the next month or two. Vacation planning is a good topic, but only if you are both looking forward to going and if you are both actively involved in planning for the vacation.
Preventing divorce is a complicated issue – not impossible one. You will need to invest time and energy into you marriage now, and do everything you can to prevent divorce. Good luck!.
***********************
Find out how to stop divorce, save your marriage from an expert who sustains an incredible amount of expertise when in handling broken marriages.
Divorce is not the answer, and rushing into one is a big mistake, the divorce process will eliminate your chances of rebuilding your relationship, so you better consider this move carefully and be absolutely sure that you have exhausted all the means and ways to improve your relationship.
Your spouse does not understand you, and both of you are not communicating any more, it seems as though there is a huge gap between you, that even the smallest things makes you upset about each other, and that what was once easy and fun has now become unbearable. Preventing divorce is not about compromise, preventing divorce is about rediscovering your relationship.
The changes in relationships seem almost impossible, from once passionate lovers that could not bare being apart couples change into two different people that sometimes seek the opportunity to be as separate from one another as possible. The dangers of the growing distance between couple raises questions in their minds and in many cases this ends in a divorce.
Every person is different, every couple has its own unique story, but the bottom line is usually this – one or both partners think that it is impossible to turn the relationship into something that will flourish again, with the hope of regaining the love of the other lost the partners turn into the simplest and what seems like the easiest solution, instead of fighting and arguing over and over again, the clean cut divorce looks like a good solution.
Sometimes and in some cases this is probably the best way to go, divorce for some couples is the best answer to a hopeless situation. But if you are one of the many people who feel that not all hope is gone and that you wish to continue building the relationship you have with your partner, who at a certain time was the closest to you, this is the place to start looking inwards and outwards and work to regain your harmoniums loving relationship once again.
Good relationships start with good communication, it is almost sure that you once had a relationship with good communication, you can probably remember the days when you didn’t have enough time with your spouse to talk about all the plans you had for your life and to share your thoughts? How long has it been now? How many years since you last had a really good communication exchange? After you’ve exhausted the discussion about the children’s schedule, who has to drop off the dry cleaning and when you will visit your in-laws, do you find yourself at a loss for words?
You are not alone. There is nothing wrong with either of you. You are probably just mired in everyday life and because your daily schedule is so hectic, over the years you simply ran out of time for casual and enjoyable discussion. And, now you can’t even remember how to even talk to your spouse, stopping or preventing a divorce will mean that you will need to rethink the way you communicate.
Good communication is not so hard and it is vital for preventing a divorce, it is just plain simple work, until you get used to it. Instead of talking about the regular things, you will need to think a little harder and try a lot harder. Talk about real things, not the work routine and the children’s activities think of things you want to talk about, you’ll find yourself anxious to get home to share the information with your spouse. Avoid the topics that do not interest you spouse, remember that this is about the both of you, and what you find interesting, just finding this topic will earn you points for trying, do not plan ahead too much – just let yourself into a discussion about things you have not discussed for long.
Listen to the news in the morning or on your way to work. When you are listening, try to focus on those things you think your spouse would find interesting. What would she tell you about? Then ask her if she heard the story, and what she thought about it.
Talk about things you want to plan or do over the next month or two. Vacation planning is a good topic, but only if you are both looking forward to going and if you are both actively involved in planning for the vacation.
Preventing divorce is a complicated issue – not impossible one. You will need to invest time and energy into you marriage now, and do everything you can to prevent divorce. Good luck!.
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Find out how to stop divorce, save your marriage from an expert who sustains an incredible amount of expertise when in handling broken marriages.
Reconcile or Move On, How to Decide
Should I Reconcile? You are older and wiser now, with an experience or two, and a decision to make.
Your desire to reconcile is often a desire to live the dream. To revive your passions and the hopes you lived in the beginning. To return to 'Go' and start over with a new role of the dice.
Perhaps reconciliation is not your own desire, but forced upon you like a load of dirty laundry. Forced upon you by silent and sullen children. Forced upon you by a repentant spouse, full of promises and needs greater than your own. Forced upon you by family, religion, and tradition of the day.
Should I reconcile? Should I accept the hurt, the pain, and call it a day? Can I face the unknown, or is there more comfort in this familiar but battered arena? Yes, you are older and wiser now, with a decision to make.
How to decide
Take a blank piece of paper, any paper, and if you are inclined you can create a spreadsheet or flow chart, it matters not the medium. Across the top draw a single line, and down the centre draw another line. At the top on one side write the word STAY. The other side gets MOVE ON.
There is no secret or trick to this; simply write down every reason or excuse for saving or ending your marriage. This writer remembers being asked to make a list of all the possible uses for the lowly paper clip. Writing down one use leads to another and another, the list reached 50 ideas within two minuets. At another table their list numbered 110. The point my friend is to just jot down, pro and con. Your list might take a life of its own, growing hour by hour, day by day.
At least three things will happen.
- You will come to a decision.
- You will have clearer understanding of the issues.
- You have the beginnings of a course of action
Staying means taking action and making one more commitment to your marriage. That commitment is not yours alone. You both have issues to resolve. It is not prudent to take the easy road by ducking the issues. Face them head on. Pay the price in the currency of hard work and honest communication, without it couples often fall back into old habits. A recommendable course of action is joint marriage counseling, and in many cases joint financial counseling.
Moving on means acceptance, and closes the option of going back into the marriage. While it may be sad, it also frees you to look to your future without the complications of all the "what if's". Moving on can be like passing Go and collecting your $200, knowing the next trip around the block might be better than the last.
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Find out how to stop divorce, save your marriage from an expert who sustains an incredible amount of expertise when in handling broken marriages.
Your desire to reconcile is often a desire to live the dream. To revive your passions and the hopes you lived in the beginning. To return to 'Go' and start over with a new role of the dice.
Perhaps reconciliation is not your own desire, but forced upon you like a load of dirty laundry. Forced upon you by silent and sullen children. Forced upon you by a repentant spouse, full of promises and needs greater than your own. Forced upon you by family, religion, and tradition of the day.
Should I reconcile? Should I accept the hurt, the pain, and call it a day? Can I face the unknown, or is there more comfort in this familiar but battered arena? Yes, you are older and wiser now, with a decision to make.
How to decide
Take a blank piece of paper, any paper, and if you are inclined you can create a spreadsheet or flow chart, it matters not the medium. Across the top draw a single line, and down the centre draw another line. At the top on one side write the word STAY. The other side gets MOVE ON.
There is no secret or trick to this; simply write down every reason or excuse for saving or ending your marriage. This writer remembers being asked to make a list of all the possible uses for the lowly paper clip. Writing down one use leads to another and another, the list reached 50 ideas within two minuets. At another table their list numbered 110. The point my friend is to just jot down, pro and con. Your list might take a life of its own, growing hour by hour, day by day.
At least three things will happen.
- You will come to a decision.
- You will have clearer understanding of the issues.
- You have the beginnings of a course of action
Staying means taking action and making one more commitment to your marriage. That commitment is not yours alone. You both have issues to resolve. It is not prudent to take the easy road by ducking the issues. Face them head on. Pay the price in the currency of hard work and honest communication, without it couples often fall back into old habits. A recommendable course of action is joint marriage counseling, and in many cases joint financial counseling.
Moving on means acceptance, and closes the option of going back into the marriage. While it may be sad, it also frees you to look to your future without the complications of all the "what if's". Moving on can be like passing Go and collecting your $200, knowing the next trip around the block might be better than the last.
********************
Find out how to stop divorce, save your marriage from an expert who sustains an incredible amount of expertise when in handling broken marriages.
Passion Ration cited in Divorce
The Passion Ration
The last straw to finalize divorce proceedings in a marriage is when adultery is committed. I would say the hurt is unbearable for the loving partner who has been betrayed. Innocent Parties like the children and family members automatically become involved to take their share of the heartache when a marriage collapses.
Many couples manage to salvage what is left of their relationship and carry on regardless fighting a lost cause. It is not easy to put your feelings and emotions on hold. Emotions are a powerful force that comes back with vengeance filling you with anger and in some cases hate.
All the respect and trust has gone leaving that once happy relationship a farce. They say you forgive and forget. Sorry having none of it, forgive yes forget no, mental scarring does not heal.
So much suffering is caused by a one night stand or affairs that normally do not last long after the guilty party has lost everything. Ask your self is it worth it.
I do not condone such behavior where a man or woman strays outside the Marital Home to seek pleasure; only in some cases there are reasons why partners go down this road seeking comfort elsewhere.
May be the adulterer is not the guilty one. What of the spouse who decides to ration the passion in the bedroom leaving the partner no choice but to have his or her needs fulfilled outside the marriage.
You need to think twice before making a one sided decision about when you want to play or not play ball in the bedroom. Excuse the pun, but the ball is in your court to put back the missing link that is causing your marriage and partner to suffer.
They say true love never runs smooth, and if that being the case then for a little happiness give me the rough with the smooth any day.
If you have a problem regarding being bored in the bedroom, talk it over with your partner.
Rekindling a relationship is a made a lot easier if both parties participate in trying to understand why such actions were taken in the first place. Talking it through may help you both realize that the marriage is worth saving.
Counseling is out there for couples struggling to come to terms with the fact the marriage is over. Consider the children's feelings throughout any divorce proceedings, they will need time to adapt to having there whole life turned around.
Abide by your marriage vows, if out of spite you decide to sleep alone in the master bedroom then accept the fact that the guilty part is the Betrayer not the Strayer.
Find out how to stop divorce, save your marriage from an expert who sustains an incredible amount of expertise when in handling broken marriages.
The last straw to finalize divorce proceedings in a marriage is when adultery is committed. I would say the hurt is unbearable for the loving partner who has been betrayed. Innocent Parties like the children and family members automatically become involved to take their share of the heartache when a marriage collapses.
Many couples manage to salvage what is left of their relationship and carry on regardless fighting a lost cause. It is not easy to put your feelings and emotions on hold. Emotions are a powerful force that comes back with vengeance filling you with anger and in some cases hate.
All the respect and trust has gone leaving that once happy relationship a farce. They say you forgive and forget. Sorry having none of it, forgive yes forget no, mental scarring does not heal.
So much suffering is caused by a one night stand or affairs that normally do not last long after the guilty party has lost everything. Ask your self is it worth it.
I do not condone such behavior where a man or woman strays outside the Marital Home to seek pleasure; only in some cases there are reasons why partners go down this road seeking comfort elsewhere.
May be the adulterer is not the guilty one. What of the spouse who decides to ration the passion in the bedroom leaving the partner no choice but to have his or her needs fulfilled outside the marriage.
You need to think twice before making a one sided decision about when you want to play or not play ball in the bedroom. Excuse the pun, but the ball is in your court to put back the missing link that is causing your marriage and partner to suffer.
They say true love never runs smooth, and if that being the case then for a little happiness give me the rough with the smooth any day.
If you have a problem regarding being bored in the bedroom, talk it over with your partner.
Rekindling a relationship is a made a lot easier if both parties participate in trying to understand why such actions were taken in the first place. Talking it through may help you both realize that the marriage is worth saving.
Counseling is out there for couples struggling to come to terms with the fact the marriage is over. Consider the children's feelings throughout any divorce proceedings, they will need time to adapt to having there whole life turned around.
Abide by your marriage vows, if out of spite you decide to sleep alone in the master bedroom then accept the fact that the guilty part is the Betrayer not the Strayer.
Find out how to stop divorce, save your marriage from an expert who sustains an incredible amount of expertise when in handling broken marriages.
Saving A Marriage: Tips You Can Use To Stop Divorce
Nobody said marriage is ever going to be easy. If someone tells you so, they are lying.In fact, it is perfectly normal to have disagreements and arguments in a marriage. These are the challenges in married life. You should know that no two persons that think and act in exactly the same way. Even married couples cannot read the mind of their partners. Therefore, communication is very important for couples to overcome challenges in saving a marriage from divorce.
"What can I do in saving a marriage if my partner doesn't seem to be willing to help out?" Does this sound familiar to you? You wanted to work things out, but your partner is reluctant to do so. This makes the whole situation worse and your relationship deteriorates.It is definitely not easy especially when saving a marriage alone, but it is never impossible. You need to have the right approach. When saving a marriage alone, you need to put in double efforts. You will need to learn some effective techniques to make your partner to fall in love with you again.
Stop the crying, yelling and begging; these only help to push your partner further away from you instead of coming back to you. Stay calm and get to the bottom of the problems. Find out what causes your marriage to fail.
Talk to someone you trust who can give you unbiased comment. Let him / her analyzes your situation. Third party can often offer clearer picture of what has gone wrong. Don't blame yourself or your partner regardless who is at fault. The reason why you are reading this is that you want to saving your marriage, not to pointing finger. Saving a marriage is your top priority now.
Communication breakdown is often the killer in any marriage. Over 2 million couples divorce every year, and many could have been avoided if those couples know how to communicate effectively. Learn to be a good listener. Listening is an effective way to improve communication between couples.If you are still struggling in saving your marriage and divorce is the least that you want your marriage to end up with. I recommend that you take a look at Amy Waterman's Save My Marriage Today.
Amy has put together a course that shows couples how to break the ice and ways to interact and improve their failing relationship. If your marriage is in crisis, or on the verge of divorce, you need to have the best information now to learn what it takes in saving a marriage.
Amy makes it easy for you to identify things that could jeopardize your marriage and how you can avoid them. While she can't work miracle and save every marriage, if you are serious about saving your marriage and making your love endure, you should take advantage of what Amy has to offer and maximize your chance towards better and stronger relationship.
The techniques she used have been proven to help saving thousands of marriages. In Save My Marriage Today course, you will discover:
Tips about saving a marriage, even when your partner doesn't want to
How to reintroduce passion that once existed
How to survive an affair and repair your marriage
Gestures that are more important than words
How to make your partner to fall in love with you again
And much more...
If you are serious about saving your marriage, I urge you to CLICK HERE NOW! Do something today to save your marriage before it is too late! Learn and apply the proven techniques from Amy to get your marriage back on track.
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