The Family That Prays Together Stays Together.
The phrase above is so cliché, but religion has always been one of the major reasons for disagreements between couples. If the partners are of different faiths – such as protestant and catholic- one or the other may, or may not wish to attend the partner’s church every Sunday. Attending the church of his/her faith is important to them. While this does not seem to be a concern for some couples, it often results in being separated when Sunday arrives, and can result in a major distance between the couple that cannot be easily resolved.
Religion should be discussed early in the relationship. Questions arise like: how often will they go to mass (if catholic); what religion will they be practicing; and if there have children, in which faith will they be raised? How they handle the different religions is crucial. These are basic questions that need to be answered before the couple is married.
Spouse = Best Friend
One’s spouse should always be his/her best friend. It does not mean blocking out other friends from coming into your life but more with taking each other for granted. There should always be constant communication, whether it’s as simple as a gossip that one or the other has heard or as serious as one’s hope and aspirations. Having a lengthy and enjoyable discussion with one’s wife/husband and understanding how they feel is very important in a lasting relationship.
There should also be a set time allowed for just having fun, something to bring back the spark in relationship. It could be as simple as jogging together at the park, or walking the dog together. It could be a romantic date or something special that has been planned in advance. This will bring about strong and healthy relationship.
Money, Money, Money
Money is nearly always the primary problem of any couple. It is not just a case of how to earn money but how should they spend it.
First, how will a couple earn their money? What kind of jobs will they have and what hours will they be working? These are simple questions but will have a big impact on the couple’s life. Another question is will they allow the other to work or is one’s salary enough for the family?
Lastly, how will a couple spend money? Daily needs, such as food, clothes, water and electricity are a given. Those are the necessities one needs to survive. There are, of course, other things to consider. Should couples start saving for their child’s education (if there have children)? How much of their earnings should go into their savings and how much of their savings will they spend for family fun and activities?
Fruit of Love
Children, if there are any, should always be a part of a couple’s goals. It is important to know and to understand each other’s feelings when it comes to parenting. How many children do you want? Is adoption an option if the couple can’t bear a child? Those questions are necessary for a couple to answer before they will be ready for a child.
Other questions couples should ask themselves, include how to discipline a child; should the mother scold the child or should the father be the strict one; will the home be full of rules or should they just let their children learn on their own, with guidance every step of the way?
Another point to consider is how their careers will be affected by having children. Supervision of the children when they are young is another consideration. Should one parent resign their current job and find a higher paying job so that the other could stay home and raise the child properly?
A couple’s marital goals, whether short-term or long-term, are necessary to make sure that they’re going to be on the right track with their marriage. It is not enough that they know for certain that something will happen. They have to be prepared for it and be willing to sacrifice for the marriage to work.
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