If you have a marriage in trouble but you want to avoid divorce, you should know that you have great options for saving the relationship. The exact resources and tools used to put the broken pieces back together will depend on the reason for the problem. As an example, if your wife or husband was unfaithful, counseling can often help sort things out. Therefore, prior to doing anything, you need to identity the reason for the problem in the first place.
Other than infidelity, couples struggle with financial issues, which is a huge factor that can lead to divorce. Typically, both couples work full-time, which helps pay for the house, car, raising kids, paying bills, and even vacation. Unfortunately, many couples overextend, meaning they live on borrowed money. Of all factors, credit cards are the most common problem.
When more money goes out than comes in, massive stress takes over, leading to fights. Before long, the husband and wife are disagreeing on who makes more, what should or should not be purchased, who was at fault, and so on. Then to make matters worse, phone calls and collection companies begin to call wanting to know where the mortgage, car, or credit payment are. For the married couple, it soon becomes too much to handle.
If you find that you and your spouse are on the verge of divorce specific to problems with finances, for the sake of the marriage, go visit a finance advisor or credit counseling company to help get things back on track. In this case, counselors would act as the go-between for you and your creditors. In fact, these counselors are professionals who help set up a repayment plan and then work on a budget for the future.
Just because a married couple is having financial problems does not mean divorce is imminent. In fact, using a mediator or counselor can be a huge assistance. The reason is that the blame-game ends so the problem can reach a solution. Start by putting any differences aside and stop blaming each other. Then, create a solid plan for getting out of debt while also saving money.
Most importantly, to avoid divorce, start communicating. Unless you talk, you can never work things out. Keep in mind that good communication does not mean yelling, it means talking as adults. Therefore, take time so the two of you can sit down face-to-face to discuss the current situation, regardless of the problem. If anger is too high, the services of a professional marriage counselor can help. Just remind yourself that it takes time but with dedication and determination, divorce can be avoided.
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Find out how to avoid divorce, save your marriage from an expert who sustains an incredible amount of expertise when in handling broken marriages.
Showing posts with label marriage and divorce. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage and divorce. Show all posts
The Price of a Divorce
It seems cruel that amid all the emotional struggles a divorce brings with it, money has to be such a tremendous burden and source of added anxiety. Divorces have many costs, some more tangible than others. This is an article about the tangible toll that a failed marriage has and tips on what to expect and how to cope a divorce.
From the reallocation of property and debt to child support to taxes to retirement planning, there are a slew of financial issues that are intertwined with most divorces. Chances are you and your spouse share a lot of assets, from furniture to stocks to pets! You might even have a sentimental attachment to some of them. Unless the two of you agree on how to divide all the property up, you might have to brush off on your bartering skills. Some parting couples even opt to sell all the property at once and divide the profits.
While that comfortable sofa and antique dresser might be in demand, the debt you two shared certainly won't be. A joint credit report deserves a good look as you and your lawyer(s) determine what's fair. As you distribute the debt, try to cap off whatever debt you currently have. Divorce is expensive and you want to deflate the financial burden as much as you can today. Again, more bartering may be in order here. Take on more debt in exchange for more assets, or vice versa. If you have an open mind and cooperate, you'll likely come to a fair divorce settlement. It's not unusual for a divorcing couple to split the debt right down the middle.
Surprisingly, you're going to have some new tax issues to think about too. If you have dependents, which person will get that tax exemption from now on? Many other tax exemptions and deductibles that you probably took for granted as a married couple will need to be reevaluated after a divorce.
Not to mention, child support and alimony! These issues are highly variable and personable but they are going to be big ones if you and your former spouse have children together.
Men sometimes have great financial difficulties affording child support, but statistics show it's newly single mothers that have the most money problems. This is especially evident when a woman must suddenly afford childcare or is swept into a new work environment; kids typically must adjust to a lower standard of living, just like their parents, after a divorce.
An entire family structure gets disrupted during a divorce and that has not only an effect on the personal relationships, but on the overall economic situation of all involved. And these financial issues are deep and complex and have enduring effects.
The best advice for you, the soon-to-be-divorced, is to remind yourself the financial turmoil is only temporary and it can be dealt with the most adequately if you can keep your cool and think practically. While it's tempting, dividing up property and debt is probably not a time for vengeance or proving a point. The divorce will go quicker and more amicably if you try to stay as calm and rational as possible!
*****************************
Find out how to stop divorce, save your marriage from an expert who sustains an incredible amount of expertise when in handling broken marriages.
From the reallocation of property and debt to child support to taxes to retirement planning, there are a slew of financial issues that are intertwined with most divorces. Chances are you and your spouse share a lot of assets, from furniture to stocks to pets! You might even have a sentimental attachment to some of them. Unless the two of you agree on how to divide all the property up, you might have to brush off on your bartering skills. Some parting couples even opt to sell all the property at once and divide the profits.
While that comfortable sofa and antique dresser might be in demand, the debt you two shared certainly won't be. A joint credit report deserves a good look as you and your lawyer(s) determine what's fair. As you distribute the debt, try to cap off whatever debt you currently have. Divorce is expensive and you want to deflate the financial burden as much as you can today. Again, more bartering may be in order here. Take on more debt in exchange for more assets, or vice versa. If you have an open mind and cooperate, you'll likely come to a fair divorce settlement. It's not unusual for a divorcing couple to split the debt right down the middle.
Surprisingly, you're going to have some new tax issues to think about too. If you have dependents, which person will get that tax exemption from now on? Many other tax exemptions and deductibles that you probably took for granted as a married couple will need to be reevaluated after a divorce.
Not to mention, child support and alimony! These issues are highly variable and personable but they are going to be big ones if you and your former spouse have children together.
Men sometimes have great financial difficulties affording child support, but statistics show it's newly single mothers that have the most money problems. This is especially evident when a woman must suddenly afford childcare or is swept into a new work environment; kids typically must adjust to a lower standard of living, just like their parents, after a divorce.
An entire family structure gets disrupted during a divorce and that has not only an effect on the personal relationships, but on the overall economic situation of all involved. And these financial issues are deep and complex and have enduring effects.
The best advice for you, the soon-to-be-divorced, is to remind yourself the financial turmoil is only temporary and it can be dealt with the most adequately if you can keep your cool and think practically. While it's tempting, dividing up property and debt is probably not a time for vengeance or proving a point. The divorce will go quicker and more amicably if you try to stay as calm and rational as possible!
*****************************
Find out how to stop divorce, save your marriage from an expert who sustains an incredible amount of expertise when in handling broken marriages.
Reconcile or Move On, How to Decide
Should I Reconcile? You are older and wiser now, with an experience or two, and a decision to make.
Your desire to reconcile is often a desire to live the dream. To revive your passions and the hopes you lived in the beginning. To return to 'Go' and start over with a new role of the dice.
Perhaps reconciliation is not your own desire, but forced upon you like a load of dirty laundry. Forced upon you by silent and sullen children. Forced upon you by a repentant spouse, full of promises and needs greater than your own. Forced upon you by family, religion, and tradition of the day.
Should I reconcile? Should I accept the hurt, the pain, and call it a day? Can I face the unknown, or is there more comfort in this familiar but battered arena? Yes, you are older and wiser now, with a decision to make.
How to decide
Take a blank piece of paper, any paper, and if you are inclined you can create a spreadsheet or flow chart, it matters not the medium. Across the top draw a single line, and down the centre draw another line. At the top on one side write the word STAY. The other side gets MOVE ON.
There is no secret or trick to this; simply write down every reason or excuse for saving or ending your marriage. This writer remembers being asked to make a list of all the possible uses for the lowly paper clip. Writing down one use leads to another and another, the list reached 50 ideas within two minuets. At another table their list numbered 110. The point my friend is to just jot down, pro and con. Your list might take a life of its own, growing hour by hour, day by day.
At least three things will happen.
- You will come to a decision.
- You will have clearer understanding of the issues.
- You have the beginnings of a course of action
Staying means taking action and making one more commitment to your marriage. That commitment is not yours alone. You both have issues to resolve. It is not prudent to take the easy road by ducking the issues. Face them head on. Pay the price in the currency of hard work and honest communication, without it couples often fall back into old habits. A recommendable course of action is joint marriage counseling, and in many cases joint financial counseling.
Moving on means acceptance, and closes the option of going back into the marriage. While it may be sad, it also frees you to look to your future without the complications of all the "what if's". Moving on can be like passing Go and collecting your $200, knowing the next trip around the block might be better than the last.
********************
Find out how to stop divorce, save your marriage from an expert who sustains an incredible amount of expertise when in handling broken marriages.
Your desire to reconcile is often a desire to live the dream. To revive your passions and the hopes you lived in the beginning. To return to 'Go' and start over with a new role of the dice.
Perhaps reconciliation is not your own desire, but forced upon you like a load of dirty laundry. Forced upon you by silent and sullen children. Forced upon you by a repentant spouse, full of promises and needs greater than your own. Forced upon you by family, religion, and tradition of the day.
Should I reconcile? Should I accept the hurt, the pain, and call it a day? Can I face the unknown, or is there more comfort in this familiar but battered arena? Yes, you are older and wiser now, with a decision to make.
How to decide
Take a blank piece of paper, any paper, and if you are inclined you can create a spreadsheet or flow chart, it matters not the medium. Across the top draw a single line, and down the centre draw another line. At the top on one side write the word STAY. The other side gets MOVE ON.
There is no secret or trick to this; simply write down every reason or excuse for saving or ending your marriage. This writer remembers being asked to make a list of all the possible uses for the lowly paper clip. Writing down one use leads to another and another, the list reached 50 ideas within two minuets. At another table their list numbered 110. The point my friend is to just jot down, pro and con. Your list might take a life of its own, growing hour by hour, day by day.
At least three things will happen.
- You will come to a decision.
- You will have clearer understanding of the issues.
- You have the beginnings of a course of action
Staying means taking action and making one more commitment to your marriage. That commitment is not yours alone. You both have issues to resolve. It is not prudent to take the easy road by ducking the issues. Face them head on. Pay the price in the currency of hard work and honest communication, without it couples often fall back into old habits. A recommendable course of action is joint marriage counseling, and in many cases joint financial counseling.
Moving on means acceptance, and closes the option of going back into the marriage. While it may be sad, it also frees you to look to your future without the complications of all the "what if's". Moving on can be like passing Go and collecting your $200, knowing the next trip around the block might be better than the last.
********************
Find out how to stop divorce, save your marriage from an expert who sustains an incredible amount of expertise when in handling broken marriages.
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